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Wednesday, 8 January 2014

NICE DEFINITIONS



  Marriage: It’s an agreement where in a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

  Lecture: An art of transmitting information from the notes of the lecture to notes of the student without passing through their minds of either.

  Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the numbers present.

  Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest price.

  Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by femine water power.

  Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

  Conference room: A place where everybody talks nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

  Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

  Classic: A book which people praise but never read.

  Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

  Office: A place where you can relax after yours serious home life.

  ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

  Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and set to decide that another can be done.

  Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

  Atom Bomb: an invention to bring an end to all inventions.

  Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

  Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidently falls into a river.

  Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway “see I am not injured yet”.

  Pessimist: A person who says that “O” is the last letter in zerO , instead of the first letter in Opportunity.

  Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

  Father: A banker provided by nature.

  Criminal: A Guy no different from the others unless he gets caught.

  Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

  Politician: One who shakes your hand before election and your confidence later.

  Doctor: a person who kills your ills by pills and kills you by his bill.